One thing that has helped me tremendously to understand how we are with
each other eternally, even when we live on opposite sides of the great
divide we call 'death', is Rudolf
Steiner's priceless treasure of a book, Staying
Connected: How to Continue Your Relationship with Those Who Have
Died. The essence, as I understand it, of what has
value for me in this world in regard to those who "aren't
here, present elsewhere," [ancient Aramaic meaning for
the word "death"]
is this: our feelings and thoughts directly influence those on the
Other Side, or can, in a number of ways, just as they do with people and
all life on This Side. Over and over from a
wealth of sources, including Steiner, it is said that the so-called dead
are still quite clearly, even effortlessly, aware of us, whether we are
able to perceive them or not.
The widely cherished Indian Saint from the 1800s, Sri Ramakrishna
Parahamsa, passed over before his wife, Sri Sarada Devi, did. Even
though she was also a deeply devout mystic, she mourned his
passing. This saintly woman revealed a moment very soon after his
leave-taking in which he came to her and said, 'why do you weep?
I've merely passed from one room into another.' In other words,
I'm still right here with you.
Just as you might think of or even speak with someone here, our feelings
and thoughts to or about one who is in the 'other world' are even more
easily conveyed directly to the one remembered. You no longer have
to be physically near or pick up the phone to call! According to
Steiner, et al., they instantly know and can receive these thoughts ...
whether we intend for them to or not, by the way. With this in mind, he says when we consciously send love
and wish them well and see them whole and thriving as spirit beings, or
remember them in our prayers, that energy / thought / feeling literally,
as Steiner apparently could observe this in other-dimensional realities,
lifts them up in what he called higher spirit worlds. It feeds and
nourishes and even advances their continued Journey.
But there is another way that is less well known, but perhaps not so different in
essence, again according to Steiner, who says, whether we are conscious or
not, the quality of thoughts/feelings that fill our days is like food
for the 'dead'. And they actually seek this nurturance out on a
regular basis primarily during the time of
sleep.
As you know, we have to make a conscious, active
effort and choice to eat. We can ingest everything from junk food
and poison to that which is highly nourishing, healing, and
wholeness-making, to superfoods and medicinal foods. We can form
conscious dietary habits that improve the quality of our bodily lives or
do much to harm ourselves through the foods we eat. We can do this
with consciousness and purpose, we can do it with a kind of
hand-to-mouth unconsciousness or through habits that can be quite
harmful.
This is a perfect analogy for what we may, through our conscious and
unconscious thoughts and habits of thought/feeling in turn generate
through our daily lives. Just as the trees and plants each produce
according to their kind, so do we produce our quality and kind of
thought and feeling [It doesn't take a Steiner to see this
-- ;-D]. According to this apparent Seer, the 'dead'
come during our sleep cycle especially to be fed by the 'fruits' we
produce. Like breathing or the timeless rhythm of seasons or the
characteristics that separate koala bears from parakeets, this is innate
to or natural to our cycle of living into 'dying' and 'dying' into
living as human beings. If our lives are largely filled with
destructive or unhealthy habits of thought and feeling, this is the
meager pickin's that those who visit us to be nourished will find.
If our lives are blessed with higher-quality patterns of
thought/feeling, this in turn is what we have to offer our loved ones
during sleep and other times [e.g., meditation, prayer] when we are able to
let go our daily life preoccupations. Also, the more spiritual in
nature, in the universal sense of spiritual [love, devotion, compassion,
longing for The Ineffable, joy, peace, integrity, clarity, inspiration,
willing to good, etc....], these are like superfoods and medicinal foods to those who
depend on us for this other-world
sustenance.
So, by way of example, back to my father and the continued healing of our past and the
co-creation of a better relationship. You don't have to believe
what Steiner said about this process of feeding the 'dead' to understand
that what we think and feel about someone or what we especially
habitually feel and think overall impacts our lives and theirs in
profound ways. I could choose to hold a grudge against my dad,
frequently brood on how that relationship has hurt me, and day in, day
out continually harbor feelings of resentment, fear, anger,
woundedness, lack of trust, dissonance, unhappiness, moodiness, apathy,
.. whatever, and this state would not only produce the same old stuff in
my life -- reasons to feel more of the same -- but would be the
starvation diet provided for all those who come to be fed in this and the
other world. Who wants to be around someone who is known as a
______________ .. use your own unfavorite options.
Yet we are all drawn to, uplifted by, and nourished by people who are naturally loving, kind,
gregarious, thoughtful, great listeners, wise, accepting, positive in outlook, nonjudgmental, forward
looking, peaceful, happy, warm, exciting, generous, ... It's
not a far stretch to consider this to be the case, whether one has a
physical body or not! So, particularly now that I am more
conscious of this, I am able to thoughtfully develop dietary choices of
heart and mind that positively and healingly impact on my father and
others incarnate and discarnate. But it takes attentive effort and
commitment to make choices that eventuate into ever healthier and
more-wholeness-making outcomes that have lasting impact on one's
personal life and the lives of
those who are in hir field of influence.
This is the Great Work we may do to build the bridge between
ourselves and any other eternally living being in this world, and while
still embodied here, with others who live in the Otherwhere. In
other words this can become in and of itself a life work, a
"project of transcendence" that can greatly enhance all life,
as well as our personal lives.
